All of the craziness with none of the wait!

April 5, 2012

Spring Break - Day 4 (aka Bra Day)

My bra's arrived!! My big ole honkin' mamma jamma bras arrived at the big girl store so the short people and I went to get them. And for added fun, we took along Mrs. W from across the street. She loves the big girl store too. Try as we might to warn the short people ahead of time, they were a little noisy and hyper and The Diva would NOT.STOP.TOUCHING.THINGS. I mean really, who puts bracelets and shiny earrings at KNEE level? That's optimum kid messing-touching-breaking height! Once I tried the bras on (they fit!!) we took off for home. Mrs. W was meeting up with her hubster and I went to chat with the Mommy down at the end of our row of houses. Her kids were playing with a bucket and a hose and MY kids ran over there so fast The Boy tripped and skinned his knee. He cried for 30 seconds then got up and forgot all about it while he doused himself and Rapunzel (the neighbor's daughter) with garden hose water. After a bit we realized The Husband was home and he came out to join us. We chatted for a bit, then decided to go get dinner out and let the kids run off more energy before bedtime. It worked well, but it's really hard to take The Husband to the playground! He gets overly protective and possessive and worries WAY too much about what the other kids are doing and what their parents aren't doing about it. I guess I am used to it and as long as no one pushes my kid or makes them upset or cry, then I try and just let them play. They are going to encounter bullies and bigger people their whole life. They need to learn how to stick up for themselves. That doesn't mean I won't beat the snot out of some Mom who doesn't care that her 12 year old son just ran over my 2 year old Diva on the toddler slide. Because I totally would.

April 4, 2012

Spring Break - Day 3 (aka Let Mommy Nap Day!)

I did not feel so good today. All achey and sore and SUPER tired. Like you get when those parasite-zygote-pre-fetus baby things suck all your fecking energy when you are like 7-14 weeks pregnant. I was always like "WTH, why am I falling asleep at 11am?" and then 2 days later I'd pee on a stick and go "oh, that's why". But that's not the case now... because we had The Husband neutered a LONG time ago. And if that IS the case, then I need the name of a good attorney, cuz I'm suing SOMEONE.

Anyway, Mommy spent a lot of today doing nothing. The kids were ok with it, mostly because I let them use the CRAYONS... unsupervised. And that's like giving them gold. Or playdoh. But we don't own playdoh. I throw that ish out immediately if it shows up. I hate that stuff almost as much as our bitch neighbor. Ohhh... maybe I should put playdoh on her lawn. Just sprinkle it everywhere like little happy rainbow turds. That would be fun.

So we just kinda hung around in our pj's today. It was ok.

April 3, 2012

Spring Break - Day 2 (aka Fun in the Sun)

Met another Mommy friend for a play date and lunch today. She's cool, her husband is a geek too. Her kids are squishy adorable and really nice. It was a fun afternoon. We even made a trip to Target and no one complained or yelled or pooped!! The evening went well, I actually cleaned up the kitchen, made a full meal and we sat down and ate dinner like a family on TV. It was awesome. Spring Break is not too shabby!

April 2, 2012

Spring Break - Day 1 (AKA Please let this day go well)

So far so good. Taking the kids to Target in a bit and then having lunch with my Mom this afternoon. Tonight's goal is to clean up the kitchen/counters and straighten up the basement playroom. There's a big ass bottle of wine in the fridge and I'm guessing the basement is going to be neglected because of it. Normally I'd say screw the kitchen, but that's what I said all weekend. April looks like someone threw up on our calendar, there's so much shiznit on it. So we totally ignored everything and chilled this weekend. Like seriously, I did so little yesterday, I was actually falling asleep from boredom. It was AWESOME!!! Anyway, the sun is out, it's a little windy and cool, but otherwise looks like the start of a nice day! I'm unusually optimistic this week will turn out well. :) Too bad they don't actually make these:

The afternoon was OK. We never made it to Target (I was working, mostly), but we did make it to a slightly crazy child-infested chick-fil-a for lunch. Apparently we weren't the only ones that wanted to test out the new one during spring break. By the time we got home, the kids and I were tired. The Girl took a nap, The Boy settled down to watch a DVD and I ended up on the couch feeling very craptastic. My Mom came by after she got off work and we all went for a ride to pick up her new-to-her car (quite nice, actually). Dinner was at a diner, spent most of it telling The Boy to keep his voice down and The Girl to keep her butt down... on the booster seat. Got home, put the short people down to bed and waited for The Husband to come home. Probably one of the most boring days ever. I want to stick a pencil in my eye for recapping such a lame day, but I'm trying this new thing called "follow through". Said I would, so I'm gonna. Hopefully tomorrow is better. Adios, people.

January 9, 2012

Happy 2012

Good lord, it's been FOREVER! Let me catch you up really quick:

Thanksgiving was stressful and uneventful all at the same time. My step-mom-in-law got all kinds of psycho and crazed because she works at Toys R Us. And it was almost xmas. So yeah... Christmas. It sucked. I got sick. The Husband didn't really get me anything - he made me a coupon book. For stuff he should be helping with anyway. WTF.

I started a Facebook page - please check it out and LIKE ME!!

That's all I got for now. It's hella late and I am sick again so I'm going to try and get some sleep. Happy 2012. Adios people.

October 28, 2011

Forever is a long time...

Today is my Grandparent's 61st wedding anniversary. That's NOT a typo. 61 YEARS. Together. They got married in 1950 in Los Angeles, California (where we are from). They have had good times, bad times, extremely bad times... they toughed it out when most people would have said "Screw this" and shot the other one. They had 3 kids and have 6 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren. Of course neither of them is perfect. He's one of those "my way or your an idiot" kind of guys and she's a very liberal, hard-working, out spoken but passive-aggressive (well, she used to be before the stroke a few years ago. Now she's pretty quiet, but has no filter, so conversations are always fun!).

So, Happy 61st Anniversary to two truly amazing people. I'm amazed every day by your love and devotion to each other, how you honor the vows and committments you made... but mostly that you didn't strangle one other 30 years ago! ;)

Seriously, though, you are both an inspiration and a testament to what a little hard work and a lot of love can overcome.

Much love to you both,
~Your First (and favorite?) Granddaughter xoxoxo

October 27, 2011

Say it ain't so...

Seriously. Someone please tell me WHAT I did to Karma?! Cuz I am like super, super sorry about it. Both kids are sick... pretty sure it's "just" a sinus infection. Ok, I can handle the runny, snotty noses. The coughing in my face. Even a little whining (they don't feel well, after all and I did say a *little*). But last night The Husband went to bed at 8:55. No joke - it wasn't even 9 o'clock! I knew something was wrong. Then he says the 4 words every woman dreads to hear from their husbands... "I think I'm sick". NOOOOOOOO! No, no, no, you cannot be sick!

Having The Husband sick is like having TWO extra kids. The whining, crying, whining, snotty nose, whining, coughing... it's almost enough to make me roofie his ass so he passes out and wakes up 2 days later, totally fine and unaware of what has happened. If the kids get sick and it doesn't get better, I take them to the doctor. I give them medicine. I make them take a nap. I make sure they drink fluids and eat. The Husband lays around moaning and groaning, won't eat (unless food magically appears in front of him), refuses to drink anything except soda, and getting him to go to the doctor... well, let's just say I have an easier time convincing The Boy to eat broccoli. He parks himself on the big chair in my living room and falls asleep, snoring and hacking and it!! He managed to get himself some cold medicine and leave for work today, but when he came home 7 hours later, he hadn't eaten anything all day! When I told him to get a sandwich he said "Eh. Nevermind." For reals?!

Does anyone know what happens if Mommy gets sick? No, of course not. Because nothing changes. Mommy still cooks, cleans, takes the kids to school, changes diapers, does the laundry... she just does it grumpier-er than usual and with half as much sleep as she usually gets (Wait, what's half of nothing? I'm really bad with math). But heaven forbid if Daddy gets sick. My sole purpose in life, when he is sick, is to bow down and serve his sick ass. He's going to get served alright.

Someone say a prayer for me please... or maybe you should say a prayer for The Husband, so he lives to see another day.

And for goodness sake, go get a flu shot. Adios, people.