Maybe if I got a paycheck...

It's always good to hear compliments and to be told when you are doing a good job and get acknowledgement for the work you do. So of course I did not hear that... instead I got a compliment wrapped in a list of all the things I do wrong. Basically I got in trouble with The Husband for being lazy. HELLO - we knew this!! Now, I'm not so lazy that my house is filthy (a little cluttered, YES, but we have been working on that). You can come in and sit down without moving papers and trash. You can walk around without stepping in something gross... ok, you may have to circumvent a few cheerios, but once I see them, I pick them up. Really. Shoes are put away (mostly, The Girl likes to play with them), toys are 99% relegated to the play area and are kept up, and the kitchen is clean more often than not. So why NOW, all of sudden, does The Husband take a look around and decide that I'm not doing a good enough job? Why does a conversation about needing a 2nd car turn into one about how I haven't gotten The Boy potty trained or the clothes put away? Why does he say that I'm not consistent and I don't set enough structure for the kids? He said he's been complaining about me not being "consistent" since before we were married. So Why NOW? Because he got a promotion. He's a manager now, in charge of 8-9 men. He's putting all those idiots in line and getting them whipped into shape, streamlining processes and getting them on track, doing things a certain way. And he took a look around his house and realized that he'd never taken the time to do that here. He's defining roles for his employees and making sure they know exactly what he expects from them. All the while never bothering to make sure his most important employee had the same information. Because we apparently have 2 different definitions of the words "clean" and "child raising". I thought we were on the same page a long time ago... he'd say a few things here and there and I'd do it, mostly. Now he says nothing and I am just expected to understand that while yes, I cleaned the kitchen, I didn't take a toothbrush and scrub underneath each cabinet and appliance. Yes, the toilet, sink and floor are clean in the bathroom, but did I take the light fixture down and scrub it out? Wash the baseboards? No, of course not. And I had no idea he wanted me to sit down individually with The Boy and The Girl for an hour or 2 each day and be their preschool teacher, MAKING them color, write their name or do puzzle. I wasn't raised that way... I played. I had fun. Yes of course I am going to teach them manners, numbers, letters, colors, shapes, etc. but you shouldn't be FORCING your children to do schoolwork at 1 and 3.5 years old. Sheesh, I mean we're not ASIAN!! And as for the consistency thing... if he's been bothered by it since before we were married then he really shouldn't be all that surprised.

So now I am supposed to create a detailed routine so that there is structure in the house. I wonder if I should type up a checklist and then leave it for him each day for him to sign off on. I don't doubt while he'd probably be "offended" that I did that, he'd actually love it and encourage me to use it. Hey... maybe I'll get a bonus. Oh wait, that's right, I don't get paid to do this... but I sure am getting punished for my behavior. We still don't have a 2nd car and I have a feeling that a big part of it is that he doesn't WANT me to have one. That would be like giving me a reward for bad behavior. Never mind that we wouldn't be down a car if he'd been responsible and not been driving drunk! He's apologized for "everything he's put us through" and for making me drive him places (he's got a restricted license from the DUI). And he's sorry that he's had to shell out money and take time off work to deal with the aftermath. But has he asked me ONCE how I'm doing? How I feel? No, of course not. According to him all I do is bitch and complain. HELLO - I'm trying to tell you how I feel about all this!! YOU try being stuck at home for 6 months (4 of them during the freezing winter) and tell me if it doesn't start to make you feel like you can't leave the house. Why bother? There are only so many times you can walk up and down the street. Our backyard is a disaster. Which I am sure is somehow my fault too.

This went from a partnership to a dictatorship really fast. And I didn't even see it coming. FML. Adios people.

Clean.Out.Your.Ears!!!

Seriously, why does everything have to be an argument? Does anyone else have this problem with their son? The Terrbile 2's were nothing compared to the horrific 3's. The Boy has been trying my patience like nobody's business the past few months. Most of all when he says "huh?" or "what did you say?" I mean REALLY? I was looking right at you! I know your ears are clean because I clean them out myself! Sheesh!! The Husband says its because he's home with me all day and he's trying to manipulate me. Well... maybe if I could get the hell out of the hosue once in a while and take them to the mall or a playground or something, I wouldn't feel like I was going to lose my mind every few hours. But that would require me to have a car... ugh.
Anyway, looks like it might be a warm enough day to go for a walk. Let's hope it turns out that way. Adios, people.

This ain't no joke...

Truck got fixed. But after driving around in a 2011 fully loaded Kia Sorento, we now see it for what it really is... an old, slow truck with no working A/C, a broken window (it won't stay up so it's rigged with a coat hanger... that's not at all redneck) and crazy high mileage. The transmission is getting funky too. So now we are in a limbo that really sucks because there is only one more year of payments on the truck, but it is probably not going to LAST a year. So what to do? Rob a bank? Pray we hit the right lotto numbers? I could go get a job (what!?) but 90% of the paycheck would pay for daycare. Ugh.

It's been a crazy week. Between the chunty neighbors blasting their retched bass day in and day out and all the car drama and the kids acting up, I'm shocked I haven't been arrested for destruction of property... I was seriously thinking about throwing a brick through their front window. And giving myself bonus points for hitting the stereo.

So far today the kids are good... but it's almost nap time so we'll see what happens later. I need a vacation. Or a long nap. Or a long nap while on vacation... that would be amazing. Ok back to life... I *should* go clean something, but then I couldn't call myself a lazy wife. Adios people.

Vital Records

So Saturday turned out to be a very odd day. The DMV was a bust. I told The Husband that he needed to take a real birth certificate (instead of an old hospital one) and he pretty much ignored me… guess what the one required document was? A birth certificate. Duh. Anyway, it turned out ok, because since they couldn’t process the paperwork, we didn’t have to fork over $220 (that we don’t have) to get him his license back (sort of).   We ran some errands, went home and then my Mom (what would we do without Mom?!) took Diego back to her house for the night. So it was just me, The Husband and The Girl. It turned out to be a pretty nice evening, but damn, what a crazy morning!  I should be trying to get some sleep now, but after consuming 2lbs of the homemade mac & cheese my brother The Chef made, I’m too full to do anything but sit. Thanks again bro – since I know you are reading this now!! ;)

Anyway, this week should be interesting… Monday an old friend is coming by for lunch (and I am still trying to figure out what to feed this flaquita!!!) and Tuesday… well, there’s so much crap packed into Tuesday before 12 noon. I’m not sure how it will all get done.  It will though… I mean it’s not like I have anything else to do around here, right? It will be good to get out of the house at least. I am starting to feel like a caged animal. Well… I better go order that birth certificate now. Sleep well. Adios people.

What is this thing you call a "weekend"??

To add to all the crap we have been going through (more on that later), some asswipe rammed his big Mack truck into the back of our SUV. The only car we have left now has a back window made out of trash bags!! WTF. Now the husband and I are getting ready to go to home depot to get some clear plastic sheeting and then take him to the DMV to get his restricted license (again, more on that later... that's gonna be a long post!). What a way to start a weekend. Not that I really enjoy weekends... when you stay home with your kids 24/7 the days all smush together. Ok, time to go. More later on all the drama. It's going to be therapeutic to get it all out cuz I am still pretty pissed off about the whole thing. Are you dying to know yet? Soon, I promise!! Try to enjoy yourselves this weekend. Adios people.

Not your average housewife.

The first thing you should know about me is that I am (half) Latina. I also have kind of a foul mouth. Comes with the territory... I mean my father is a Mexican trucker, what do you expect?? I was born on the Left Coast 31 years ago and have since found my way into a smallish suburb about 45 minutes from Washington, DC. I'm married to a 33 year old computer genius and we have two small kids - a son, who will turn 4 in May and refuses to be potty trained and a daughter, that just turned 1 and is a total Diva. For privacy purposes, we're going to call them The Boy and The Girl. Why not?
So, I'd like to think that Im a very good Mother - I take care of my babies needs and wants and make sure they say "please" and "thank you" and are polite to people. But I totally suck at housework. Seriously, I got a Dyson vacuum for Mother's Day 2 years ago (which I LOVE), but I think my daughter has eaten more off the carpet than vacuum has. There's really no other reason that shit doesn't get done everyday other than the fact that I am lazy as hell and I just find it boring. I'd rather make Dora laugh or read a book to Diego.
Anyway, that's a glimpse at who I am right now. Time to make lunch for the huerquitos. Adios people.