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October 27, 2011

Say it ain't so...

Seriously. Someone please tell me WHAT I did to Karma?! Cuz I am like super, super sorry about it. Both kids are sick... pretty sure it's "just" a sinus infection. Ok, I can handle the runny, snotty noses. The coughing in my face. Even a little whining (they don't feel well, after all and I did say a *little*). But last night The Husband went to bed at 8:55. No joke - it wasn't even 9 o'clock! I knew something was wrong. Then he says the 4 words every woman dreads to hear from their husbands... "I think I'm sick". NOOOOOOOO! No, no, no, you cannot be sick!

Having The Husband sick is like having TWO extra kids. The whining, crying, whining, snotty nose, whining, coughing... it's almost enough to make me roofie his ass so he passes out and wakes up 2 days later, totally fine and unaware of what has happened. If the kids get sick and it doesn't get better, I take them to the doctor. I give them medicine. I make them take a nap. I make sure they drink fluids and eat. The Husband lays around moaning and groaning, won't eat (unless food magically appears in front of him), refuses to drink anything except soda, and getting him to go to the doctor... well, let's just say I have an easier time convincing The Boy to eat broccoli. He parks himself on the big chair in my living room and falls asleep, snoring and hacking and it!! He managed to get himself some cold medicine and leave for work today, but when he came home 7 hours later, he hadn't eaten anything all day! When I told him to get a sandwich he said "Eh. Nevermind." For reals?!

Does anyone know what happens if Mommy gets sick? No, of course not. Because nothing changes. Mommy still cooks, cleans, takes the kids to school, changes diapers, does the laundry... she just does it grumpier-er than usual and with half as much sleep as she usually gets (Wait, what's half of nothing? I'm really bad with math). But heaven forbid if Daddy gets sick. My sole purpose in life, when he is sick, is to bow down and serve his sick ass. He's going to get served alright.

Someone say a prayer for me please... or maybe you should say a prayer for The Husband, so he lives to see another day.

And for goodness sake, go get a flu shot. Adios, people.

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