Shake, Shake, Shake...

We had an earthquake Tuesday. A Mutherfekking earthquake. THIS was the SOLE reason I chose NOT to live in California after breaking up with Stoner Jay. I am Terrified of these things. Seriously, like hysterically crying, throwing up, hiding under the table terrified. There was a huge earthquake in LA when I was little and I remember running and diving head first under my Abuela's kitchen table and then not wanting to come out. Ever. It took her about an hour to get me to come out.

You're going to watch WHAT?

Luckily I had put the short people down for a much needed nap before this current one hit. The Boy was passed out in the middle of our bed surrounded by open air (my laziness paid off for a change, since I have never bothered to hang any pictures up in our room!) and when I checked on The Girl in the video monitor, she was sitting up in her crib, looking around. Then about 5 seconds later, she grabbed her dog and passed the hell out. I picked up the phone and called The Husband on his cell phone. I could tell he thought I was over-reacting... I had immediately started freaking out, crying and skaking and asking him where he was and yelling "That's not supposed to happen here!!!" He was concerned about me (probably losing my mind) and didn't say much beyond, "You're ok, I'll be home soon" but at the same time, I could tell he was very excited that he had just been in an earthquake. The first thing he did when he came home... care to guess? Hug me? Give me a kiss? Reassure me that he was there and could protect me by turning into Superman? Nope. He turned on the TV and watched all the news reports and kept saying "Wow! My 1st earthquake!" I almost kicked him in the nuts.

A few days and some aftershocks later, I am still here. But I'm not so sure I like this state anymore. And if the earthquake wasn't enough, now there's a crazy bitch named IRENE making all kinds of noise and threatening to wreck shit. I mean, really... there's only so much a lazy wife can take.

So try to stay safe. Don't forget to buy water and toilet paper. Adios, people.