Insane in the Membrane... Part 1

The Husband's biological mother (my BIO-MIL) is literally hanging on my very last, teeny, tiny, nerve. I totally told her to put her big girl panties on and grow up.

Here's a little background: The Husband's parents are divorced and each parent is remarried. My parents are also divorced and my Father is remarried (to the woman he knocked up while he was still married to my Mom... but that's a whooooole other story!). So the short people have 7 grandparents, but only 3 live locally and are active in their lives: The Husband's Dad & Step-Mom (aka Grammy & Peepaw) and my Mom (Meemie). The Crazy Cougar BIO-MIL and her husband - who is 12 years younger, ewww - moved to SC in 2006. That's about 9 hours away from us. *Claps excitedly* My Father and his family live in California, where I am originally from. The Husband grew up broke (not "poor") and so did I, but my family has always had some class and appreciates the finer things in life. Like china, cloth napkins and toothpaste. His family is straight up marlboro redneck. And I'm so not exaggerating.

BIO-MIL, The Husband and I have a long history (6 years or so) of "communication problems". Basically, the woman is a head case. I'm 100% certain she has depression, she has lots of anxiety, especially in public and she's probably got a personality disorder. Since the entire FECKING family has joined Facebook, it has only gotten worse. Now there is no need for her to visit or contact anyone that doesn't live near her because she can "talk to and see them" ALL.DAY.LONG. She ACTUALLY stalks me on Facebook. It's a fact. I have posted a status and when I refresh the page 5 SECONDS later, she's already either a.) Clicked "Like", b.) Posted 1 or more nonsensical comments, or c.) All of the above. Dios mio. She's actually gotten into comment "wars" with my Dad, several of my friends, my soon-to-be Sister-in-Law, myself and her own son. Here's a few examples of her comments:

My Status: Grocery shopping without the kids OR the husband. Dreams do come true!
BIO-MIL: how did you manage that?
ME: Drugged husband. Kids duct-taped to the wall. (I actually typed this and then erased it. I really should have just posted it. Did she forget I married her son, who despite her raising him, has become a very intelligent and respectable human being?!)

A few days later I posted a link to Mommyland's Top Ten Reason's Why 3 is Worse Than 2. In the comments section we find:

BIO-MIL: LOL I always thought 3's were worse. I didnt mind the terrible twos at all. Are you guys alright?
ME: Everything's fine, why?
BIO-MIL: Just wondering I had written my son a couple of times asking and he hasnt responded other then my request for your address again. I dont need it now, I found it in another location. Just wanted to be sure everything was alright. love ya

Posted to my wall 4 DAYS after the exchange above: Hi, hope all is well. Wrote my son a couple of times asking how you guys are, but have heard nothing. Love you guys and again I hope everythings going good for you
Comment #1: omg, I meant havent heard anything LOL sorry
ME: We're good... Your son has been extremely busy with work and we were very busy this weekend, but overall things are good. I'm just home with the kids. No news is good news with us.
BIO-MIL: LOL I understand that. Well good. Glad to hear it and glad you got your laptop the way you want it. Have fun with it

She complained about being broke so we've offered her money for gas and free lodging to visit us, to meet the kids and have even given her a special phone number that is free for her to use to call us. She declines the money and lodging using lame excuses and never calls. And when we get upset, she says "why don't YOU call ME?" Um, Hello? We DO. We DID. You don't ANSWER. You don't call BACK. I'm get a little dumber every time I deal with her. I sent her a private FB message and basically broke it down for her and told her that we were no longer going to communicate through Facebook. It wasn't healthy. And that she needed to make more of an effort to call or write to the kids because she doesn't know them. And then I said this: " And don't tell me it is because you don't have the money to do it. Because if you can buy a pack of cigarettes, you can buy a calling card. You probably don't like that I said that, and if it made you mad, then I've made my point, because IT'S THE TRUTH and you know it." Oh yes, I did.

To which she responded: "It is SO important for us to have verbal contact in yours and my son's opinion, why dont you call us. You have free long distance and still dont call. Maybe if you gave up drinking you could afford it."

WHUCK? Give up "drinking"? I'm not a wine-o! I mean, I like wine (a lot) but on average, I have about 1, MAYBE 2 glasses a week. Some months I have them all in one night. Some months I have nothing. I didn't tell her to give up smoking, I just illustrated that if she could buy a pack of smokes, she could afford to call us. And last time I checked, my 1 year old doesn't know who you are, so why should she call you?

And I guess that's where I have the most confusion, uneasiness or maybe it's a microscopic bit of maybeiamwrong-ness. From the day I met The Husband almost 9 (NINE!!) years ago, we have been upfront and open and honest with this psycho. We've made all of the efforts to go visit HER once a year, to offer HER money, etc. The Husband's step-mom, "Grammy" calls me randomly once a week or so just to say Hi and make sure things are ok. This past weekend, she showed up with 5 bags of shrimp, grapes and a chicken. For no reason! I HEART her like my own mother.

So I ask you: Are we wrong in wanting BIO-MIL to step up and get to know her grandkids, to make a little effort and contact US for a change? I honestly want some outside opinion, so feel free to leave a comment below.

Make it a good week - I'm going to try to despite all of this! :) Adios, people.