So he will be driving around (only when he goes to work since he's on restriction per the state) in this sleek little sexy thing and will save all kinds of gas because it gets like 5x better gas mileage than my newly inherited Big Blue Beast. Just FYI, Big Blue Beast is a 2002 SUV with a V8 engine... and he's blue. The minute we saw him, I called him Hank [5 points if you're as geeky as me and can tell me what that reference is from] and he gets 13 mpg. So glad I have a job to pay for my gas bill... oh, wait... feck. Sorry kids, no fruit this week, Hank needs a few gallons!
So I was trying to come up with a really good name for this new beauty and realized I have always named my cars. Because I'm a dork like that. Usually by their color, sometimes for other reasons. Here's the list, just for fun:
"Lemons" - My very first car! I had Lemons for 2 glorious weeks. I bought it with cash from a shady guy with burn scars all over him in a shady part a nasty little town. But it was kind of cute. '89 Accord hatchback. The AC worked. 2 weeks into it, I was 1 mile from my house, ONE mile... and it died. There was a huge creaky/cracky/clacky noise and then POOF, it ran out of steam... and then ACTUALLY steamed. Turns out they sold me a car with almost NO.OIL. When a car runs out of oil and you keep driving it, you can crack the engine. And apparently a new engine costs a lot of money and takes awhile to do. Who knew? Unfortunately I bought the car "as-is" and there wasn't anything I could do.
"Loaner" - My grandma had a little blue Subaru something from 1980-something that was 5-speed. My ex-fiancee (Stoner Jay) was the only one that could drive it and that only lasted for about 3 weeks, when the shifter thingy fell down through the car and onto the street. I'm told they aren't supposed to do that. Loaner was donated to charity. Or the dump, I'm not really sure.
"Blue" - A 1990 Camry with 130,000 miles that was bought on auction by Stoner Jay without looking under the hood. She ran for almost 2 years and we never changed the oil, tires, washer fluid, etc. and it never gave us a problem. Stoner Jay drove around a curve too quickly in a rainstorm and flipped it upside down. On Valentine's Day. After proposing to me earlier that night. He was fine. Blue was not.
"Morrie" - He belonged to my grandparents and was a 1993 Dodge Colt. I loved Morrie. He taught me how to drive, how to parallel park, he got me across the country, he survived 2 blizzards and every time I put the key in the ignition, he started right up. I took good care of him and if it hadn't been for that crazy lady from the "country" not paying attention to the traffic lights in the "big city" (her words) Morrie wouldn't have died a horrible, head-on death. :(
"Redd" - Here's her tribute. She died unexpectedly almost a year ago and it has made me realize that the men in my life should NEVER.BE.ALLOWED.TO.DRIVE.MY.CARS!
So, Hank, it's up to you to keep me and the short people safe now. And I promise to take good care of you and not let The Husband drive you too much, especially now that he's got his as-yet-unnamed beauty. He didn't really love you as much as I do anyway. You were never good enough for him. I mean you don't have bluetooth or a radio that shows text, you guzzle gas like it's your last meal and you make a funny noise by one of the back tires. But I want you to know that I appreciate you... in spite of all of those things. And I love how big and spacious and sturdy you are. I never feel like I'm going to fly off the road when it gets hella windy because you're heavy. And this is starting to sound dirty and a little creepy, but suffice it say, I'm glad to have you back Hank.
Make it a good week. Adios, people.
HAHA! I love Chateau Broke and I love this blog.. you crack me up lady! And DAMN you HAVE had a LOT of vehicles!! lol
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