Don't Make Me Hit You With My Pocketbook...

Dear Husband,

I think we have a communication breakdown. By that I mean I have communicated several times to you how I feel about certain things and you conveniently ignore for forget them. You work very hard for our family and we appreciate everything you do for us. With out you, there'd be no family... no home... no food... it would suck pretty bad. Monday nights are your poker night, and I have accepted that and hope you have nothing but safe fun while you are out. I'm even ok with every-other Wednesday's poker night after your team meeting. Hell, we are even having a poker night here at our house in 2 days! So overall, what I am saying is, you deserve your time off.

Well, so do I. I know I created this blog and most of my rants around all the crap I don't do around the house. But I DO actually accomplish quite a bit around here. I know our laundry may be a clean pile of clothes resembling Mt. Everest, but it's a CLEAN pile. Randy the Laundry Fairy did not get those clothes washed and dried, of that I can assure you. I also keep you and our short people fed. And let me tell you, that is not easy. You usually consume the food of 1.75 people and the short people eat every two hours. What makes it worse is they eat like refugees at a $3.99 Vegas All-You-Can-Eat Buffet (sending the kids to Vegas for lunch is probably cheaper than my bi-weekly grocery bill, actually). I have also been keeping the sink clean. It hasn't been easy, and I do ignore the dishes on Sundays, but overall, I get it done. I even spend a total of about 2 hours a day picking shoes up and putting them back into the shoe basket in our entry way after The Girl Shoe Diva has scattered them around the house.

So when, instead of spending my ONE measly free night a week doing my own thing, I go to the MARKET, and GROCERY SHOP for our family (it WAS nice to shop without short OR tall people!), I don't want to come home at 10:40pm and step into a dark living room (because you went to bed at 8:55 and turned off all the lights) and TRIP over 4 shoes, a toy drill and 6 magnets. And when I finally manage to turn the kitchen light on with my hands full of the 6 bags I carried in by myself, I don't want to see a pile of dinner dishes thrown into the sink and a pizza smeared high chair tray on the counter. The dishwasher was empty. I looked you in the eyeballs before I left and said this to you - out.loud.

Of course after I put everything away, I cleaned up the dishes and the tray and all the shoes, etc. Because I don't want to undo all the progress I have made. And it makes me feel disrespected. Think of it like this: all those nights you go out and play poker and you do really well and you have a great time and you come home all relaxed and happy and maybe I'm in a good mood too after having a glass or two of wine (wink, wink)....... and you get a CSC call because none of the on-call guys will answer their phones and you are the only person that can fix this server issue. You know how much that sucks? I know you do, because I have seen it happen quite a few times. Well that's what it feels like when you leave the dishes and don't put a tray away and don't make the kids pick up the toys that are in our walkway. Especially when you know I am coming home with bags of groceries. So please, can you just try to clean up after yourself and the kids? I'm not asking you to grab the mop and hit the floors or scrub the toilet (OMG you'd get some mad happy time if you did though!). Just tidy up the few things you and the kids use/play with/destroy while I am gone.

I do have to say, though, more than anything, I am mad that you went bed at 8:55pm. You suck. But I love you anyway.

xoxo,
Your Lazy Wife