Top 10 - Things That Shouldn't Be Washed

My List... From *sigh* to WHAT THE HELL is THAT?!

#10 Receipts and notes
Not a fun thing to find, but at least they tend to "clump" and get sucked into the lint trap for easy removal.
#9 Tissues and napkins
Now the only reason I know a tissue has been washed is because when I pull a shirt out of the dryer, something like cocaine tends to puff out of the shirt pocket. And since The Husband sleeps ALL THE TIME, I know it's not blow.
#8 Coins
In case you didn't know, I am 5'4" on a good day with a 44F chest (that's right, 44F. And they were free. As in I grew them myself.)... so finding a PENNY at the bottom of the washing machine usually results in something that looks like a midget dove head first into pickle barrel. Short legs flailing in the air, muffled expletives from inside... you get the idea. Because the coins are always STUCK to bottom of the washer. And on the rare occasion that I get the laundry out of the dryer right after it's done, those suckers are HOT!
#7 Paper Money
Long ago I claimed that any money found while doing the laundry belonged to me. I even have a little coin cup. But finding a clean, crisp bill torn in half or into confetti just makes me mad. You'd think I would learn to check pockets, but seriously, it's enough that I am doing the laundry. Police your own clothes, people!!!
#6 Lighters
I'm constantly finding these stupid colorful little plastic tubes full of liquid fire. Yes, I saw the mythbusters episode that explains that lighters can be put in the washer/dryer and it will be fine. But it's gross.
#5 Rocks and Sand
A quick trip to the beach or the playground turns into 3 days of washing the same pair of underwear because 3 grains of sand will not.wash.away.
#4 My Cell Phone
So it was a complete preggo moment. And I said I just put it in there... but really I washed it.
#3 Markers and Pens
Some come apart. Some don't. It's like roulette, but with sharp pointy things that can stab you and make you bleed.
#2 Crayons
The wrappers separate and you are left with a bald crayon... or some paper and colorful clothes. :/
#1 A pack of cigarettes
That's right. Smokes. The filters come out whole, plastic gets chewed up and there's tobacco on everything. EVERYTHING. Like the evil laundry gnomes jumped in during the soak part and shredded the pack, laughing hysterically the whole time.
Thank God for my Dyson!! Adios, people.